#ESPECIALLY if you know the person has a mental illness

[mvrdermeharder]

Now that the official translations are out I wanna ramble a bit abt the new chapter

First of all, I actually think that Isagi’s writing is very interesting here. He’s always been someone who could connect with others easily, and imo he’s been the most empathetic person in bllk (which makes sense regarding his upbringing ofc). But also, he’s used this empathy to his own benefit, as it came naturally to him to understand others and to feel for them. What obviously comes to mind is this scene with Bachira from the second selection

So it’s interesting how his new awakening is all about throwing his emotions and empathy away. And the more I think about it, the more I am on board with it. Kinda.

Because reading the new ch, I felt so off seeing how emotionless Isagi is all of a sudden. Especially these panels, his eyes look soulless and he looks so utterly empty inside that it’s actually off putting

And the puzzle-eye panel creeps me out even more: I know this is manga, but even then, the facial symmetry is uncanny, the perfect roundness of his irises looks unnatural, his face is drawn too perfectly. It literally resembles a soulless robot with a human face, and it actually makes me uncomfortable to look at him.

And throughout the whole chapter he either has an impassive expression on, or we see his back only… which is so weird, since he’s been quite expressive up to this point. Getting no emotions from him feels especially strange.

And to be honest, I kinda like this development. Because it’s interesting.

But also… if i think about it, subconsciously pushing aside his empathy for the sake of victory has always been there inside of him… and this mentality too, had been proven to be valuable.

This scene with Kira is where we first see his ego awaken, so maybe this is the truest, most original form of it…? Just like what Noa said in this chapter “we may have opened the door to Isagi’s ego”. And it might be about wanting to rewrite fate? Destroying stronger opponents and the expectations ppl have for them, as seen with Rin’s blocked goal in 284. (Or even Bachira’s development in the second selection is sort of Isagi destroying the script… huh. Even tho that’s based on empathy… hmmmmmm looks like there are multiple ways to destroy fate)

But back to the current development, I wonder if this is what Kaneshiro hinted at when saying that he hopes we’ll still like Isagi. Him changing to this unemotional, robotic player… It would be interesting to see how this could backfire w him hurting others because of his discarded empathy. (Ooo Kaneshiro had also said that Bachira’ll be important in the story again👀)

But what’s interesting, is that I actually think that Isagi’s recent proposition to abandon all feelings and ego is actually… good for Kaiser? Like, I wouldn’t say that it’s completely healthy, but it’s definitely healthy-er than the shit he has going on rn?

I talked about how Kaiser pushing himself into his childhood mentality isn’t the answer to achieve his goals, him perceiving himself as an “unlovable sub-human who yearns for love but can never gain it” is not the right ego and it can lead to catastrophe…

So Isagi telling him to “abandon our egos”?? That’s perfect, actually???? Isagi reassuring Kaiser that they will both put aside their dislike for each other for a while? For the very first time someone is not actively looking at Kaiser with some type of malice, or not just using him for their own gain, but putting him on equal ground instead? Even if it’s to use each other, it’s not… ill-natured. For the first time Kaiser is not a piece of shit nor a rotten manipulator full of malice.

Bc let’s not forget: Ness has never been on equal ground. He’s a dog subjected to malice. That is all that Kaiser (is allowing himself to) feel for him. And Ness’ love born out of manipulation can never be recognized as valid and honest. It’s so fucking hard to accept love and kindness from someone when you feel like you’ve manipulated them into liking you.

So well, getting back to 285, the team-up with Isagi does not equate to “feeling loved”, but still, it’s a peaceful neutrality.

And the best thing is, now that Kaiser is (likely) abandoning his own unhealthy ego, the real goal stays the same! He’s still encouraged to score, by which he attains a bit of love, but his self-loathing is put on a pause, so he doesn’t have to play in restriction. Isagi is right there for now.

And ofc, i’ll say it again: this is not the final solution to “fix” Kaiser’s psychological stuff. But it is still better than whatever he had experienced before, and it could be the first step to get used to being treated as an equal instead of an enemy - to accept something that is not kindness, but definitely not malice either.

I mean look. This is literally the first time that we see him get physical with anyone. Touching someone without ill intent. And that’s huge.

So all in all: This chapter was GREAT!!

(But as always, feel free to disagree, these are only my opinions)

[pixieswashere]

First off, I agree with everything with what OP said here. I want to also add onto this that it makes no sense for AU!Jinx/Powder not to have her mental illness/psychosis, not only bc of the fact she had it since she was a child....but also bc in that universe.....Vi is dead...like SHE IS GONE. If anything the trauma and psychosis would still be there, if not worsen overtime.

Like at first when I started it, I didn't think much thinking that in this universe she had professionall help in coping with it healthily.....but then the Vi reveal and the fact we didnt see her having some hallucinations or voices is what ruined this......her ONLY last remaining family to her parents and who was very close to her clearly...is DEAD. Jinx loved her sister so much and had a mental breakdown as a kid when she LEFT her to go and find Vander. The only person who was there that BELIEVED in her, STUCK up for her, and practically raised her along Vander. You're telling me, Jinx wouldn't have any slightest of a breakdown or crisis over that??? At all??? Even when considering her mental state???

Adding to this for Viktor (bc I love him and I 100% agree that his character was fumbled)

Viktor NEVER hated himself in s1 let's get that straight. In S1, he makes a very big POINT to show that he has always carried himself and that in whatever he does, he is proud of it because he believed in himself enough to accept who he is and DOESN'T care about what others think of him

"When you're going to change the world don't ask for permission."

"I didn't have the benefits of a patron or a name, I simply....BELIEVED in MYSELF."

You could argue that while yes he is self-assured and confident, he still has some insecurities of how people close to him perceive him....and that could be true, but it's not really ever alluded. He DOES care about making connections but hes isolated himself bc of these judgements that its almost second nature if not a rarity. But he does value companionship, its just not something he is accustomed to a degree, and he sometimes without consideration distances himself from it if it gets in the way of his aspirations (Ex: Sky/Jayce, Heimerdinger/Singed.) In the latter acts of S1 he was DYING he wasn't hating himself because of his "terminal illness" that was killing him or his disability....He was in a vulnerable and solemn state because he felt like his accomplishments meant or achieved NOTHING. This is a character that is selfless, altruistic and a workaholic who worked his way up with dreams of something better and now after so many years in developing Hextech he's seeing that what he strived to achieve for the improvement of his home that's also DYING because of Piltover's ignorance and oppression, is unable to do NOTHING about it now.

He is angry that he has no CONTROL over his fate and the assuredness of his Legacy = helping those in need for the Undercity because of Jayce and Piltover's lack of understanding, especially after they had complied building the Hexgates for their trade disputes first.....over the disputes of lives. Viktor has contemplated death because he knows time is fleeting and he wants to make it count for something good, he doesnt want to be remembered as PERFECT, he wants to be remembered in the contributions that the people of Zaun will FINALLY heal/be helped after so long and not have to live short lives bc of unsafe work environments, manual labour, illnesses cause by toxic chemicals and etc.

He even brushes the idea of when he'll die off, and you could even add that he is ticked off by the fact that hes now being perceived as a "dead man" before he even died (Ex. Heimerdinger convo and Jayce in the hospital, etc). He doesn't like being seen as powerless or as his terminal illness now because he ISN'T and never was. Furthermore, he doesnt use the Hexcore to "PERFECT" himself, he's using it to heal himself of his terminal illness/expand his lifespan so that he can continue his research in helping Zaun.

If he is going to use Hexcore, he needs to make sure that it will work. So, to tests its capabilities, he tests it on HIMSELF. Only to find out that the same thing he created to HEAL ended up killing someone that meant a lot to him. He wasted NO TIME telling Jayce to destroy it bc it harmed someone and he finally realizes that ensuring a legacy = saving people....ended up at the cost of harming people in return.

P.s. sorry this was long. Hope you enjoyed reading it if u did !

I don't have perfect thoughts on it, but I do want to note that I'm not loving how Arcane handles disability.

Viktor hating his disability so deeply, feeling that it needs to be "fixed" so thoroughly, that he succumbs to ~ultimate eugenics for everyone ~ ?????? fucked up

Jinx's psychosis being a manifestation of her being "unhinged" and encouraging her to act out either to challenge or appease them, and then her psychosis magically disappearing in the "perfect" universe????? also fucked up

Vi's alcoholism and (albeit mild) psychotic symptoms never being brought up....ever???? just created as fodder to make her a more angsty and submissive lapdog to facism????? also also fucked up

Let me have my mad/cripple characters who have their shit recognized as parts of their humanity rather than trauma porn plot or things that need to be corrected or traits indicative of rash violence please

[luckheist]

y'know what's gross ?

seeing people use SCHIZO as an insult . people want to preach about being accepting of mental illnesses and trying to erase stigma ... but then throw around a term that's considered by most people with some form of schizophrenia to be a slur .

as someone who has schizoaffective disorder and suffers from what psychiatrists consider a form of schizophrenia , it makes me physically ill every time i see this and really shows me who is and who isn't a safe person for someone like me to interact with .

the only people who should be using this term are those trying to reclaim it . for me to say "my schizo brain won't let me find words" or other things like that is different from people without the disorder saying " xyz is schizo and crazy and needs to be locked up " .

what you're doing by saying that is showing that you believe people with severe mental illnesses should be taken out of society and locked in asylums or prisons or wherever else so they're out of sight and out of mind .

it's really upsetting to see and i'll be blocking from here on out if it's on my dash . i already feel shitty enough about friends and family having to deal with my worst days , i don't need random assholes on the internet making it worse .

[fanvoidkeith]

honestly... i've seen a lot of people be like "oh the underfell skeles are cat coded" but like... i feel like that's not quite acturate? underfell!papyrus is cat-coded to me, for sure. but underfell!sans?

no. fell!sans is the abused, generally loud but passive dog who's agressive over his territory. his bark is bigger and louder and more dangerous than his bite for the most part. he plays with his toys to prove he knows his way around better than you, he follows you around, he side-eyes you to see if you're a threat. but he loves the attention. he's confused when you don't mistreat him. he's puzzled when others like him are nice and well-meaning, because all he knows is the violent and aggressive hierarchy of his home.

fell!sans is the dog who waits by his brother's side, no matter how many times he's swatted away. fell!papyrus is the cat who will always be waiting for him to come home, no matter how much their familial relationship struggles.

[kyouka-supremacy]

Mmmhh...

[edge-oftheworld]

one thing I love about following celebrities/artists who are honest and proactive about their mental health struggles etc is I can’t count the number of times someone I know is going through something and I’m like ‘I’ve got a song for u’ and how much of my life involves telling myself ‘if [redacted] can do something/get better/etc then so can i’ (and having actual real evidence of it in front of me) and I can’t understate how much I appreciate these things.

but at the same time it involves a whole lot of watching people I care about suffer and you learn to read the signs and infer between the lines in songs and interviews, and yes we can never fully know what they don’t share with us, but when they do share things it’s not a big stretch to be like ‘this seems like it’s what life is like for you and I have taken encouragement from it but you deserve so much better’. and it’s easy to find ways to get angry at a predatory industry and realise things that could be hurtful if you’re already fragile.

and we can advocate for some things and help ourselves and the people around us feel better but it’s hard to meaningfully reach your faves as an individual. and there are things we can’t say on the internet in too much detail, speculation becomes the harmful kind of gossip, and so sometimes it’s a whole lot of internally saying ‘you’re doing incredibly well to have gotten to where you are but I wish for your sake things would get better faster’

[diseaseriddencube]

tempted to make one of those old style theory posts where every character secretly represents a mental illness owoooouughg spookyyyyy

but for the akudama

[xxxemilyg1996]

Happy dead dad day!

[2024skin]

It's fucked up that the sober population straight up ignores how a huge portion of addicts have chronic illnesses

[seafoam-taide]

You know I thought for awhile that I was just a rare type of person who sure, liked people well enough but was okay being alone didn't necessarily need anyone and NO. NO. NO. OH MY GOD . YOU GIANT DUMBASS. NO HAHAHA NOOO NOPE

[lilgynt]

my mom found the thing that started the fight that got me kicked out. so i was right. in my fantasies this happens and it’s great in real life im gonna jump her

[agentemo]

i have borderline personality disorder and i will not be showing you receipts

i deserve empathy for my disorder, not hatred or fear or demonization

i also don't expect a romantic partner to put up with my worst parts if they can't handle it, as much as that hurts to say and experience

[katyspersonal]

I used to take meds back then from autumn 2018 to autumn 2019. They were helping with paranoia, hyperactivity, impulsivity, anger issues, delusions, panic attacks, etc, you get the drill. They had good effects, such as me having been rather calm (to the point people were joking about how nothing could ever anger or scare me, lol), as well as more focused on writing or drawing things more than I've ever been in my life. But also they've made me so sleepy that I basically barely finished my last uni year when dozing off at every class, and I had a hard time providing the engaged, invested, "nerdy" conversations on every other topic like I do. I just quit them because not only being sleepy ALL the time would not let me work a job normally, but I also started to worry that I've been losing myself as a person. I was just so... detached and boring in conversations while medicated? Like you guys here know me as a person who is chronically like this:

But when I was medicated, it was far not this way. I was giving like... kinda tame and normie responses and thoughts, still excited but not TOO excited, etc. I am surprised that even while being a total slug on meds, I still had it in me to start fearing of losing my "eyes on the inside" xd

But I've been just thinking about stuff recently. I still loathe it when it is being handled like "you are a dangerous harmful monster that doesn't deserve compassion and trust and should be exciled from society", obvs, but the problem itself exists. I am kinda too intense, too much, too impulsive, my mood can drastically flicker within a second and flicker back just as fast. And I am paranoid. This year I even exhausted another paranoid person with being worse at it than them :/ (it always reminds me of a dream I had once, where Mic0lash of all people told me that I was "too crazy" for him fdshfh xD) I am extremely blessed to have friends and simply familiar people who accept and love me the way I am, but I am really starting to think that maybe I should delve back into it. That maybe something was wrong with the meds or the dose I used to be taking and I should try again. It is just really strange that being healthier would be able to "ruin" my passionate, nerdy, engaged personality. I've always been 'over the top' with how I think and with my creativity, even before any mental illness showed up, so sure it is just me and not any sort of positive symptom...? Like, clearly this is just my autism, not one of those other "mental illness" guys?

Well, all this talk is just in the scenario if I get enough financial stability to be able to afford monthly repackaging of meds. I am just having second thoughts on whether it is really a choice with no good option, and that maybe that previous doctor just made a mistake with prescriptions (could happen with anyone, even a professional). Or maybe I needed to demand trying something else but didn't. And I just assumed that "meds are a diabolic device to destroy a creative, nonconforming brain" (notice how it itself sounds a bit like a paranoid delusion, so clearly those meds were not quite helping with it lol). Not gonna lie, I am still scared that being calmer will kill the "real me", but at this point pain, paranoia and anger keep chopping away from my days and from my good experiences. And I can't control it.

But maybe I just should not have expected to hit the right way instantly, some people try out different meds for years before they find something that genuinely makes life better. Like maybe I got scared of how things have changed and gave up too soon, when I should have like, bugged doctor to try something else. I just want to believe that I don't have to choose between "being nerdy and engaged" and "stopping having panic/anger attacks that quite literally make me lose my mind". At least I gather enough optimism and benefit of the doubt to consider delving into it again, so there is something..

[forgotten-daydreamer]

one day people will stop saying they have bpd just because they get "irrationally angry sometimes", but that day is not today, unfortunately for us all.

[isakaru]

a core tenet of my beliefs is that people deserve basic kindness and respect regardless of how rude or annoying or obnoxious they are. if the most obnoxious person i know told me they couldnt afford food and i had the money for it you bet your ass im gonna buy them some food

[imightbeatomato]

I've been playing Arkham asylum and it's a shame I don't have a younger sibling who I will watch me play video games so that I can complain the whole time about what a shitty game it is and I'm not good enough at video games to be an entertaining streamer